It’s Holly

all over the gym are old hairy men that refuse to wear regular t-shirts and opt for the loose-fitting 5 for $10 wifebeaters that you buy at your local swap meet (indoor or outdoor, you choose). so while talking to the receptionists at the gym (in order to avoid doing cardio.. big ups to Mia and Courtney), we’ve decided to market a line of “man sweaters”. we’ll take soft, hairy old guys and shear them like sheep, weave the hairs together and make soft man sweaters. washing would be simple. throw it on before you hop into the shower and use your favorite shampoo and conditioner. We recommend using a leave-in conditioner for maximum softness and to repair split ends.

… and the sad part is, you think i’m completely kidding.

i think it could work. You could dye it any color you would like. Your man sweater can be adapted to any outfit you’re wearing with a simple box of hair color. Each tag on the neck of your soft man sweater would be completely customized:
“DO NOT BLEACH, HANG DRY
WARM IRON IF NECESSARY
10% MICHAEL HAIR
50% LaMONT HAIR
38% BOB HAIR
2% LYCRA SPANDEX”
They come in curly and straight. Fine or Nappy. Investors, contact me.
We’ll talk.