It’s Holly

Yes, ladies and gents… Feast your eyes on Holly’s first ever DEEP FRIED TURKEY!!!

With the assistance of 5 gallons of peanut oil, my mom’s seasoning, and my stepdad’s yoked ass muscles holding the turkey over the oil, we have ourselves a new thanksgiving tradition. We used to order our deep fried turkey, but this year, my procrastination made us miss out. So instead, we bought a deep frier and said “Up your’s, Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits, we’ll deep fry our own turkey”. And so we did.

We have family staying over this thanksgiving. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love family n’ all, bt I hate the adjustments you have to make to your life when people stay over. For example (this may get graphic… turn your head if bathroom talk scares you), i can’t shit like I’m used to. My colon is a highly regular operating organ… I’m talkin’ 3 BMs a day. After each meal… my shit is ready to go, literally. But you can’t do alla that with company… nooo you gotta wait until the wee hours in the morning when everyone’s asleep, ’cause lord knows you don’t wanna offend anyone. And then there’s the issue with soap. I keep a few different bars of soap in my shower, just for kicks. Sometimes I wanna smell like Dove, and sometimes it’s Caress. There aren’t any new bars of soap in the shower, and the visitors HAVE taken showers… so now I don’t know which bar has become the community soap. Now I gotta open a whole new bar and stash it in my room for safe keeping.

…sigh…

The troubles we go through for family.

And Justin, please believe that every day that passed by and I didn’t blog I said to myself “Shit, Justin’s gonna be mad at me…” Ask my sister.

Happy Deep Fried Turkey Day, y’all. May your arteries be clogged and your guts be full…