It’s Holly

The company I work for (and will LOVE UNTIL THE END OF TIME, btw), has started selling kids clothing. I get a kick out of seeing all the little man outfits with ties and whatnot. It’s super cute. Makes me wanna have kids, just so I can dress them up! Anywho… a lot of the clothing lines we carry are excellent…
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FOR ADULTS.

For example… Baby Phat. Not that I’d ever be caught wearing anything with the word “Phat” on it… that’s just stating the obvious (we’ve had this discussion before). And on almost every piece they sell, there’s a rhinestone cat – usually around the chest/clevage region. What does a cat have to do with anything, you ask? Cat + Woman = Pussy… in the eyes of a man, which is what Baby Phat wants you to attract by wearing your clothing… so why not just ADVERTISE the fact that YOU GOT PUSSY. And now we wanna put little girls in this shit?! That’s fucked up.

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But it gets worse

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Now Apple Bottoms is coming out with a clothing line for kids. C’mon PEOPLE!!! WAKE UP!!! The logo is a picture of AN ASS!!! {{popup appleLogo.gif appleLogo 102×71}}AN ASS in FRUIT FORM !! being marketed by the same man who told you to take off all your clothes because it’s hot and to “spread your eagle”. What the fuck is going on, folks!? Are we missing the signs? The models on their website wear CLEAR HEELS for goodness sakes. CLEAR HEELS! Don’t you know who wears clear heels?! HOOKERS AND HOS!! That’s who! So now we wanna dress our little girls to have Apple Bottoms… sigh.

Nelly, you should be ashamed… Russell Simmons should be ashamed… and his pot head wife should be ashamed for catering to pedophiles. Ya stinky bastids. You claim all of this “I’m helping out my people” bullshit, when you’re exploiting them and charging $50 for some jeans for a 7 year old.

…and don’t one skinny bitch come on here talkin’ about “You just mad ’cause you can’t wear it…” You damn right I’m mad… their plus size shit is ugly, too. Fuck you… go eat a pork chop.

I can’t count how many times I missed this man in concert. Each time, a little piece of me died inside… but tonight, I get all those little dead pieces back because I’m gonna go see Mos Def, bitch! He’s going to be at the new House of Blues in the Gaslamp (downtown San Diego). I love me some Black on Both Sides. I think I have that album almost memorized… my favorite track is Mathematics. Go download it. The new album – The New Danger – is a bit more rock. A lot more rock. There are gonna be sooooo many disappointed black faces in the audience tonight. They’re all expecting “Ms. Fat Booty” and “Two Words”.. the Kanye-ish stuff, when they’re gonna get “Ghetto Rock” and “Freaky Black Greetings”… the Rage Against the Machine-ish / Black Jack Johnson stuff. I happen to like the new album… I’ve read a lot of reviews on amazon from people that don’t. Those are gonna be the same people in the audience tonight like “Who the fuck are you?! Where’s Mos Def?!?” lol It’ll be great. I wish I could bring in a camera so I could take pictures of all the bougie bitches sweatin’ out their weaves. That would be excellent.

Jonathan brought me Portos. Anyone who knows me knows I’m obsessed with the place. So he comes to my apartment, and I heat up some potato balls and a ham croquettes…

Holly: Mmm mmm, bitch!! I love me some potato balls!
Jonathan: Where’s the Tapatio?
Holly: Next to my bed… by the Lawry’s.
Jonathan: :::Blank Stare:::
Holly: What?
Jonathan: Why do you have Tapatio and Lawry’s on your nightstand?
Holly: Because I had fish and grits for dinner…
Jonathan: :::Blank Stare:::
Holly: What?!
Jonathan: What kinda freaky shit are you doing!? Is that normal?!
Holly: Why yes, yes it is…

For those of you who’ve never been in my apartment, you can sit on my couch and touch my bed at the same time. In between my bed and my couch is a small nightstand. When I eat dinner, I sit on the couch, and usually put my drink/condiments on the nightstand, which, I guess now, is the nighstand/buffet table. I hope that explains it.

New Voicemail – “Hoolllllyyyy, holly-but, it’s your mother. Callllll me back. Okay. Bye.”

::I call my momma back::

Momma : Holly-but
Holly: Hey momma.
Momma: What you say I needed again? Vodka.. lime juice… what else?
::Is my mother really calling me to ask me how to make a Key Lime Pie shot?::
Holly: Pineapple juice.
Momma: Ooh, that’s what I forgot. Pineapple juice. Okay, that’s it. Love you.
Holly: Love you, too.
Momma: Bye. ::screaming to my step-dad:: It’s the pineapple juice, Lee!!!
Holly: Bye!

That’s my momma!

Last night, Jonathan and Jared picked me up and we went to Flicks in Hilllcrest, the gay capital of San Diego. It was Welfare Wednesday – $1 drinks all night. Fantastical… scrumtralescent, even! I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I absolutely love gay men. They’re super friendly (for the most part) and for some reason, they love breasts, which gives me a one-up on all the other men in there (well, for the most part lol). They also like to give complements… I even had one kiss my hand when he met me. I love it. What an ego boost… when they say “You’re so hot!” you know they mean it… it’s not like they’re trying to get in my pants! If anything… they’d like to borrow my pants.

Needless to say, if you’re ever looking for me on another Wednesday night… I’ll be at Flicks, surrounded by beautiful men that I think I are amazing and that think I’m beautiful, too. None of that snooty straight club stuff for me, dammit.

Little sister is all grown up and graduated! I’m so proud of you, Laura!! Happy 18th Birthday!

As of right this very second, he’s somewhere over Eastern Canada/Nova Scotia.

And with him is some fine french food – mustard, foie gras, baguettes, the works. It’s hard when your best friend is on the other side of the world, but I think we’ve dealt with it pretty well. We talk on IM almost every day, so it doesn’t seem like he’s that far away. So tonight, I’m picking him up from the airport, since it’s 3 blocks away from my apartment. Then I have to take him straight to Santana’s for some carne asada. I guess the Mexican population isn’t as large in Paris as it is in San Diego… so he’s missing that a lot. Usually, when Jonathan comes home, he comes with a list of restaurants that he wants to go to, which usually include Claim Jumper, In-N-Out, Porto’s, Doctor Hogly Wogly’s, Outback, Krispy Kreme and Coldstone. Between Jonathan’s bottomless pit of a stomach and Kelly’s chocolate butter dough cramps… I’m in for some good eats. It actually frightens me a little bit… but I’m glad he’s coming home. YAY Jonathan!