It’s Holly

John Legend is … well… a legend. But more on that later, let’s start from the beginning. Grab a cup of coffee, kids. It’s gonna be a long blog.

So, as read in the previous post, Kelly and I had tickets to see John Legend at the HOB in Hollywood. From my experiences at the HOB in San Diego, I know that there’s *always a line, no matter how early you get there. But, if you eat at their restaurant the day of the show, you get to go into the venue 15 minutes earlier than the “regular” folk. When I called to make the reservation, she said they were all booked up, but we were free to eat at the bar, which had a full menu. So we left SD around 3, hit traffic, got to the HOB around 5:15ish. Perfect.

We get to the restaurant, sit at the bar and they’re doing sound check. It was awesome, even without John or Lyfe there. The nice waitress suggest calamari as a starter, and Kelly and I being the deep fried connoisseurs that we are, gladly oblige. Now, let me preface this by saying that I have NEVER EVER sent food back in my life, but this calamari was just WRONG. Old and rubbery… and it came out of the kitchen way to quick, so you know it wasn’t fresh. Bitches. The waitress checks on us and I say “Honey, I NEVER EVER do this, please don’t think I’m an ass or trying to be bougie… but this calamari is old and rubbery. I’m so sorry… I mean.. I eat at Wienerschnitzel, you know I don’t send shit back” and she says “It’s okay, it’s not like I made it… you want a fresh batch?” I say no, and we get the Voodoo shrimp instead, which was awesome. Kelly ordered the fried shrimp and cheese grits, I ordered the fried chicken with cheese grits instead of mashed potatoes, ’cause I knew Kelly wasn’t gonna let me have none of her grits. lol The rest of the dinner, minus me continually apologizing to the waitress and her manager for sending back the calamari, was excellent.

We go back to the car to drop off our purses (’cause carrying a purse at a concert SUCKS) and redo our makeup and alla that junk, then head back to the HOB to get in the “we ate dinner here and we’re getting in 15 minutes earlier than you” line. I always pray that when I go to a concert like this, where we’ll be waiting for a while, that there are cool ass people in line around us. God answered my prayers, and we had 5 cool ass chicks hanging out with us in line (bigups to Ingrid, Ellia, Monica, Fanny, Anna and her husband Gilbert!). They made time in line pass by so fast, and we even ended up hanging out with them during the concert. We would watch all the hoochies walk by in their stillettos like “ooh… this is standing room only, your toes gonna HATE you”) Thanks girls! Anyway, we’re hanging out, and this super dorky black guy comes up to us taking pictures with his camera phone. He works for Verizon, who’s sponsoring the show. He says that he’s taking pictures of people waiting, and during the show they’ll show them on the big screen, and a few people will be “randomly selected by the computer” to get backstage passes. Kelly says “Fuck the computer!!! Pick us!” So we’re all flirting with this dorky black dude, and Kelly says “What’s your name?!” And he says… playing around like he’s John Legend, “::chuckle:: My name is John…” And Kelly says “oh no… I’m not THAT drunk.”

….

Fuckin’ Kelly man. Everyone was like “oooooh….did she say that?!” LMAO It was funny shit. So the guy walks away and comes back. He points to me and says “You and one other person”… and turns around to the other girls we met in line and says “One of you three… pick amongst yourselves.” So they can’t decide, and he finally picks one and takes us around the corner. We don’t know why, we just hope we get somethin’ free. Then we meet the cutest gay boy ever named Chris, and he hands us backstage passes. Backstage fucking passes. This shit never happens to me! NEVER. And if Kelly woulda kept her mouth shut she woulda had one, guaranteed. So I tell Chris that my girl is with me and I can’t go in without her… and he says “I’ll see what I can do…”. So, I get back in line with Ellia (who also got a backstage pass) and we get ready to go into the concert.

We run into the concert hall and get a spot right in front of the stage. Like… right up ON the stage… as close as you are to the desk your sitting at right now is how far away we were away from the stage. Then Lyfe comes on. This boy… can SAAAAAAAAAANG. Kelly says he’s “prison hot”. lol His voice is ridiculous good. Stupid fresh, even. He said something about “i love you guys…” and I shout out “I love you!!!!!” (not really, but you end up saying stupid shit like that at concerts). And he hears me and points to me. (Holy shit, he heard me!!!) I can’t even remember what song he was singing now… i think it was “Must Be Nice”, and he walks over to where we were standing, and I hold out my hand like the helpless groupie that I am, and he grabs my hand and sings to me for a little bit… man… that was crazy. Girls around me gettin’ crazy like “Why he pick you?!” lol Well he did, bitches. Lyfe’s set was off the hook. Pick up his album.

Then intermission… girls fighting to get to the front, girls fighting to get to the bathroom and back. Never pee during a concert. Hold that shit til the end, especially if you’re up front, or you’ll never get back to your spot.

Then… John Legend comes out. The moment we’ve been waiting for. Then we realize how the stage is set up and see that we won’t be able to see John at all during the concert… only the back of his big ass black piano. Any other concert i might have been peturbed, but not this one. Partially ’cause I knew he wouldn’t be on the piano the whole time, partially ’cause I knew unlike this other bitches, I was gonna see him backstage up close and personal after the show. Fuck the piano. I can’t really describe his set in words…

Phenomenal.

Kelly was laughing at me the whole time during the concert… ’cause I was just feelin’ it so much. Had my eyes closed and my right hand up n’ everything. She kept tapping me on the shoulder saying “Holly….we’re gonna meet him!!!!” lol She was crackin’ me up. The concert was great. In my top three concerts of all time (behind Prince and Jill Scott, of course). It couldn’t have been any better, except for the fact that we were going to meet him.

Chris gives Kelly the last backstage pass, and we head upstairs (it’s not really “back stage”), where John comes through and takes pictures with us, and signs autographs. I had all kinds of smart ass things to say to him (will you be my baby daddy? will you sing at *our wedding? I’m an ordinary person, you’re an ordinary person, let’s have one extraordinary baby! lol) , but when he was there I didn’t say them. Stupid Holly. He was very sweet, nonetheless.

Kelly and I hike back up the hill to where we parked with permanant smiles on our faces. Then Kelly lights up a Parliament and says “Let’s go to Roscoes!!!!”. I can’t remember where the closest one is, so we end up on good ole’ Pico and La Brea. Then I realize I can’t find my visa check card. That shit is lost in the bottomless pit that is my car. It’s never coming back. It’s in that same place that socks go after you put a pair in the dryer and only one comes out. That place. Oh well, fuck it. I could care less. I met John Legend, bitch! We get our Roscoes on (thanks to our waitress Mama Ella) and leave in a food coma… hop on the 10 East and we see one of those amber alert signs that says “5 Jammed, take 605 South”. We’re looking at the 5 like.. it’s not jammed! These bitches are lying!!! We hop on the 5, and lo and behold, the shit is CLOSED. Not a few lanes… the whole fuckin’ freeway is shut down. We end up taking the 605 South to the 405 South back to the 5. And I don’t think either of us complained. Once. Just because we were still on our John Legend high. Not even about our feet after standing for hours on end!

It was 5 AM before I got home, and I couldn’t even sleep. It was phenomenal. Scrumtralescent, even. A night I won’t forget. The pictures are coming soon… gotta scan those bitches in and photoshop the shit out of them.

Did I leave anything out, Kels?