It’s Holly

… for half-black half-filipino (note: niggapino) folks like me. While browsing the FoodTV.com site looking for a new Thanksgiving dessert to make, I came across the world’s most perfect appetizer for someone of my racial background: Collard Green Won Tons.
Yes! Collard Greens in Won Ton form!! I don’t think it gets any more half-black half-asian than that. So, big ups to Paula Deen for making the one food that encompasses all of my heritage, all at once! In honor of the best recipe ever, I’ll be making the Collard Green Won Tons for Thanksgiving, and will post a detailed outcome right here on itsholly.com, just because I heart you guys.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – won tons aren’t Filipino!!! I know, I know. So, instead of won ton wrappers I’ll be using lumpia wrappers to keep it authentic. Look for more on the Collard Green Wonton Chronicles Thanksgiving week.

And last but not least, Happy Monday to all my workin’ class suckas.

In light of this week’s recent events, today’s Friday Four is going to require some soul searching on your part. So here we go…

1. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to give up (habit, possession, person, etc…)?
2. How did you cope with it?
3. Everyone likes to live the cliché of “I live life with no regrets”, but everyone knows that’s bullshit. What’s the one thing you regret the most?
4. Karma’s a funny thing. What’s the worst way, or the best way, that Karma has come back to you?

I’ll answer in the comments with y’all. And plus, I hate having zero comments. This guarantees that won’t happen. Happy Friday Fouring!

Ever since my sister, aka Krissi aka Tina, turned me on to www.pandora.com, I can’t get enough of it. The Jill Scott station and the Maxwell station haven’t let me down once. If you don’t know what it is, I highly suggest that you ask somebody. Or just go to the website and check it out.

Pandora gives you 10 hours of free listening as an introduction to their product, then you have the option to buy 3 months of listening for $12, or one year of listening for $36. Either way, it’s still a bargain. It’s definitely worth it. Last week sometime, I finally used up my 10 hours of free listening. And the first thing I think of is “…how can I release and renew my IP address so I can get another 10 hours?” So yesterday, finally, I broke down and spent my $12 for 3 months. It’s only $12, right? Right! Then I get this happy little email in my box this morning from the nice folks over at Pandora.com:

I hope this email finds you well, and enjoying some great music discovery.

We’re writing to you now, at the stroke of midnight, so that you would be the first to know about an important development in our service. The sheer volume of new listeners has led us to accelerate our timetable for offering expanded functionality. We have been scrambling to complete a bunch of work originally slated for next year and are now ready to bring it online.

As you read this, we are releasing Pandora Version 2. In addition to many new features including bookmarking, station editing, playlist improvements and much fine-tuning, the new service will now include a free, ad-supported version. Listeners have the choice to subscribe and stay clear of ads, or use the free service which will gradually incorporate advertising.

As one of our most treasured early listeners, we want to make sure this transition works for you-recognizing that you subscribed at a time when subscription was the only option. To that end, we’ve automatically given you a complimentary upgrade of your current quarterly subscription to an annual subscription- 9 additional months at no cost to you. If you would prefer a full refund, please just reply to this email with your request and we’ll process it with no questions asked. No matter what, all of your stations will remain intact.

Thank you for being part of a magical two months for Pandora. The enthusiasm and support from our early listeners such as you, has been nothing short of overwhelming. In just 8 weeks you have collectively created over 1 million stations from over 70,000 different artists and songs… Amazing! In the process you have showered us with countless new feature ideas, and thousands of great new suggestions for the Music Genome Project. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Son of a bitch, it’s workin’!!! Karma’s workin’ for me, bitches! I am like Earl! I finally decide to not try to do something the illegal way to get more for free, and break down and pay for it, and look what I get! 12 months worth of subscription for the price of 3!!! I guess I could be ghetto and get a refund, since now I can listen to free, I’d just have to deal with a few ads. But I’m not going to. I’m gonna bank my karma and g’on about my way. You do good things, and good things happen to you. You do bad things, and they come back to haunt you. Karma is a funny thing

Macaroni and Cheese: Healing the Hurts of the Past

Everyone knows it’s hard letting go of something you’re used to having – whether it’s 9 inches of hair or something else you love. In my tragic depression after cutting off my locks, Damon commended me on my bravery and good attitude toward the whole situation, and decided that his homemade macaroni and cheese was a fitting reward.

So Damon takes the macaroni and cheese out the oven and starts stirring it, then gets a bowl out of the fridge with MORE CHEESE. “It’s the presentation layer”, he says. Apparently, his mac and cheese is a 3 cheese process. I just happened to walk in on the last step – the presentation layer of cheese. You know… that layer that gets all bubbly and brown. Mmm mmm, bitches!

He made my plate – smoked turkey leg, steamed green beans, and of course the mac and cheese. It was fantastic – scrumtralescent, even. Over dinner, I asked him how he made it.

Damon: Well, start off with one pound of macaroni, and three pounds of mixed cheese – mild cheddar, sharp cheddar, monterey jack.

Holly: One pound of macaroni and THREE POUNDS of cheese?

Damon: Yes, plus the whipping cream, half and half, and butter.

::Holly feels arteries tightening up::

That’s why that shit is so good. So, thanks Damon, for the bestest macaroni and cheese EVER. It definitely made me forget about my hair.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love stupid lame jokes. I can’t help it, I like cracking myself up. So, ladies and gentlemen, here are my favorite lame ass jokes, using the Invisi-Punchline technology created by those smart folks over at The Sneeze.

(Note: highlight text to see answer)

Q. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A. “A roamin’ Catholic!”

Q. What do you call Michael Jackson when he’s bankrupt?
A. “Tito!”

Q. How do you make a cat bark?
A. “Douse it in gasoline and throw a lit match on it… it goes WOOF! ”

Q. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A. “If they flew over the bay then they would be bagels!”

Okay, I know I’m officially über lame now. But the shit is funny to me.

I committed the unthinkable. Anyone who knows me absolutely knows that I love my hair, and I’ve always kept it long. You could say it was almost a trademark. The last time my hair was short was fourth grade, when, against better judgement, I thought using my mom’s round brush in my curly hair would be a good idea. She had to literally cut the brush out of my hair, because it was so tangled.

That’s when everyone in my family realized that Holly with short hair just wouldn’t work. After the whole burning my hair to a crisp incident, and the fact that damaged hair had been falling out all week long, it was probably time for a change. I woke up at 6AM Saturday morning and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to drive up north and see Kelly at the shop, and see if Melissa could cut my hair. Melissa couldn’t… but Beth could!!

And there it is. Holly with short hair. I’m also happy to report that the burnt hair smell has dissipated. Big ups to Beth for the FREEEEEEEEE haircut. You’re the best. Big ups to Kels for the sushi, and letting me know that it was okay to let go of the hair. And, of course, big ups to Moms for not kicking my ass when I cut it.

Since The Friday Five is now defunct, I’ve decided to start my own little diddy – The Friday Four, just because I’m that much of an underachiever. And here they are:

1. What is your favorite word? Why?
2. How would you use that word in a sentence?
3. What is your least favorite word? Why?
4. How would you describe yourself in 4 words or less?

Leave your answers in the comments, or postback on your own stinkin’ blog and leave us a link Love you like a play cousin.

My answers:
1. Bitch – for the simple fact that it is, quite possibly (other than “fuck”) one of the most versatile words in the English language. It can represent anger – “Fuck you, bitch!”; happiness – “I’m rich, bitch!”; regret/remorse – “Son of a bitch!!!”… a plethora of human emotions, from one single, monosyllabic word.
2. Mmm, mmm, bitch.
3. Rural – because I can’t pronounce it. It ends up sounding like “rul”, or like I’m attempting to bark.
4. Happy Angry Hungry Bored

So, answer them questions, bitches. I’m waiting.

Another installment of the “What Ifs”, brought to you by Basement Jaxx and Lisa Kekaula.

So, this week, I can say i’ve been pretty angry at the world. And, how fitting, that I also have an angry song, which you can listen to on your right…. that is, until I decide to change it again. I’ve changed it 6 times this week, two of those times were today, but for some reason I keep changing it right back to Good Luck. And can you blame me, I mean… look at these beautiful, angry lyrics!

“Tell me tell me is life just a playground? Think you’re the real deal honey, and someone’ll always look after you?
But wake up baby, you’re so totally deluded. You’ll end up old and lonely if you don’t get a bullet in your head.
Good luck good luck… good luck in your new bed. Enjoy your nightmares honey, when your’re resting your head.
You sold me sold me sold me down the river now. Hope you’re feeling happy now. Now you’ll always have a sneer in your smile.”

And her voice… oh her voice. So perfect for the song.

So, what’s your angry song? That song you listen to when the world fucking sucks. It sure doesn’t make you feel any better, but you feel like someone out there can sympathize with you. Maybe I should go listen to my happy song.

Ever since I started my current job back in March, we’ve been on the lookout for Secret Smoker. I’ve tried to capture his image plenty of times, but I swear, this old dude is like Big Foot. As soon as I would pull out my camera, he would disappear. I was almost beginning to think that he was a figment of my imagination, until Lisa broke out her digital camera skills and finally captured it:

This, ladies and gentleman, is Secret Smoker, in his natural environment. Every day, rain or shine, he wears a blue denim shirt with jeans. Every day, same thing. He walks over to the parking lot in front of our office with a ziplock baggie of ice and a cigarette. He smokes, always facing the street, and doesn’t make any eye contact with any of us. What he does with the bag of ice, I don’t know. He then proceeds to walk down the street – we’ve seen him as far as 1 1/2 miles away from our parking lot, so who knows where he’s walking to. But every single day, he’s there. 1:30PM sharp. I’ve egged people on…”C’mon!! Go say hi to him!!!”, but I guess it would sort of ruin the mystery. We heart Secret Smoker.

Hey kids, a couple new updates to the right nav.

1. This Moment’s Anthem: I originally planned for it to be a weekly updated thing, but there are just so man good songs I want to share, that it’ll happen every couple of days. Maybe every day! Whenever the fuck I feel like it, really. So check back often.

2. The Cast: I always like having a face to go with the name, so now you can, too! These are a few of the people that most often show up in my daily rantings. Say ‘ello to them sometime. They are also the only other 4 people that read my site Hi guys!

more updates to come as boredom persists.